


slow meadow

by Matriaya



Series: paddahook trail [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, nolan could probably use a hug, tk/patty endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matriaya/pseuds/Matriaya
Summary: It had been a few weeks since they'd fucked around in the back of TK's shitty car, since they'd done anything remotely un-buddies, and Pattymissedit. Missed TK.
Relationships: Nolan Patrick/OFC, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, Travis Konecny/OFC
Series: paddahook trail [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163450
Comments: 29
Kudos: 146





	slow meadow

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a sequel to [we move lightly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28412535). I have no idea if it can be read as a standalone, but you can sure try. There are callbacks to the first fic, but at it's core, it is a story about one man yearning for another.

Whenever TK got a new girlfriend, which he did with regularity, Patty threw himself headfirst into fucking as many girls as he could. 

It was a self defense mechanism. Pure and simple. 

He knew that one of these times, the girl of the moment would become the girl of forever, and things would irrevocably change, and a large part of his heart prepped for that too. 

Whatever. It was fine. He would be fine with it because it was just how life shook out. Travis was always meant for bigger and better things than this town, for bigger and better things than him. But he needed the distraction for the right now, so when TK had texted him to say Morena had said yes to them going to the Southerland farm bonfire that weekend, Patty immediately dove head first into his list of disposable women.

And yeah, it was pretty shitty to call them that, he knew that, but he also never let them think it was anything more than it was, and for the most part, they were okay with it. People didn’t date Nolan Patrick. They just fucked around with him, got some great orgasms out of the deal, and then bragged to their friends about it later. One or two had tried to trap his heart over the course of their high school careers, but none had managed to get past the rough turtle shell he put up, and no one had ever asked why.

Good.

Patty fucking hated questions.

The Southerland farm bonfire was not official in any sense of the word. The only reason it got an actual name was so that people knew where to park their cars. Patty had picked up Anna from her folk’s place, not bothering to get out of the car, just texted her a quick  _ i’m here _ as he lingered on the curb. She was the sort of hot that seemed unreal in small down Pennsylvania, like maybe she came there to shoot a chick flick and got separated from her group; all beautiful honey colored hair and lush curves he could sink into. 

Her shorts were about two sizes too small for her thick thighs, and her crop top that said “save a horse, ride a cowboy” just barely kept her breasts contained. She was one of his favorites, if he was honest, in large part because she didn’t seem to give two fucks what anyone else thought of her, and that kind of confidence was sexy as hell, but also because she clearly understood their boundaries. She definitely had bigger and better dreams than this place, and while she appreciated Patty’s company in the short term, she had no problem delineating that it was, in fact, for the short term.

She slid into his front seat, her thighs sticking to the hot leather as she leaned over and hauled him into a kiss, all tongues and teeth from the word go, and his brain whispered  _ perfect, yes _ at the distraction. 

The Southerland family farm was not abandoned, but it may as well be for all the care that old Mrs. Sutherland put into the place. She lived alone, no kids, husband long passed, and rarely left her house, just to tend to the cats that overran her barn. She didn’t care at all what kids got up to on her land so long as they didn’t burn the place down. 

Anna stole the aux cord, and played Taylor Swift songs their entire ride outside of town, which was fine with Patty. Anna sang along loudly, and her pretty voice drifted out into the passing night as they turned down the dirt road towards the farm. Already, cars were lined up along the road, half pulled into the ditch. He saw TK’s shitty junker. The idiot had left his back window down. It was gonna be so full of bugs later. 

Maybe thirty people milled around the two bonfires in the field’s clearing. The corn had long since been choked over with weeds and grasses that swayed a solemn dance in the warm night breeze. Anna darted ahead of Patty, plunging headfirst into the group, throwing herself into the arms of her girlfriends. It’s how it went. People came together, and they left together, but they never stayed together, not for the whole night. 

Patty spotted TK immediately, eyes automatically searching him out in the crowd. He could pick TK’s familiar silhouette out even in the flickering campfire light, his form so ingrained in Patty’s brain it was etched there. 

He didn’t go to him right away though.

It had been a few weeks since they’d fucked around in the back seat, in the woods. A few weeks since they’d done anything together other than just hang out like normal bros. And the thing was, Patty never expected anything out of TK other than friendship, and even that he didn’t fully expect, not really. He got that TK liked mostly girls, with the strange exception of him, which was more a convenience factor than anything. And he got that eventually TK would blow out of this town and leave him behind. But he  _ missed _ TK. 

He saw him basically every fucking day. TK would stop by the hardware store on his lunch breaks, and bring Patty something to eat, and then after work they’d hit the lake and fish, and shoot the shit until night made even their shiny lures hard to see. 

Patty missed the feel of TK’s mouth hot on his, missed the way he could press his fingers into the hard muscle of TK’s shoulders and know he would moan at the pressure. He missed the little curl of wonder, of suspense in his gut at the “will they, won’t they” back and forth. When TK had a girlfriend, it was very much in the “won’t they” category, as it was tonight. 

Morena and TK were a new thing, probably the most exciting thing this sad group of post-high school lingerers had to talk about. TK was holding court near the fire, with Morena perched on his lap. He had one arm draped over her thin shoulders, the other clutching a red plastic cup, and he was talking animatedly to a group of guys, no doubt about hockey, or football, or some dumb sports shit Patty couldn’t be bothered to care about. 

Patty saw the moment TK clocked him from across the clearing. His smile, always so bright, ramped up a notch, and he lifted his cup in greeting. Patty raised his hand in return, but walked to the opposite end where people were congregated around the kegs.

The beer was never very good, and the bottles stuck in the plastic coolers were usually fruity cocktails of some sort, more sugar than alcohol, and not enough to get him good and drunk. He ha a flask tucked into his pocket for just in case, but he had a few hours yet before he’d be desperate enough to break it out. 

Sanny was manning the keg. He slapped his hand in greeting, and handed him a cup full of warm beer. 

Patty almost didn’t want to come tonight.

This was the first big outing that TK and Morena would be debuting themselves as a couple, and he wasn’t sure he was up for a whole evening of watching them suck face and make eyes at each other. Inviting Anna helped a lot. She was so pretty it was distracting, bouncing from person to person like a bit of tree fluff caught on the wind, and she didn’t let up until she’d returned to Patty’s side. He was chatting idly with Sanny and Phil when she came up to them, drink in hand, stolen, no doubt from someone else, and pressed a kiss against his mouth. She lingered there, a promise, a question of more, and when she pulled away, he gave her a heavy lidded gaze that answered her question. 

The grass was tall enough out here to slip away for some private time. If one listened hard enough at the edges of the clearing, one could hear the stifled moans and quiet gasps of people already enjoying themselves under the moonlight. 

Patty made his way towards the fire where TK and Morena were perched, and Anna went back to socially grazing for a while. They needed to put in at least an hour’s worth of time before they could reliably slip away unnoticed. 

The warm summer breeze took the smoke from the fire and sent it swirling off into the night as Patty sat down on the ground, a little ways from TK. If Morena hadn’t been there, he’d have sat right next to him, proudly claiming best friend rights, but.

But. 

Here was fine.

G and Ryanne had taken over the log next to him, and when he sat down, Ryanne automatically brought her hand down to start petting his hair, not unlike a dog. He wouldn’t have tolerated it from anyone but her. (Well, and TK.) But he liked Ryanne. She was sweet, in that impressive college student way that Nolan envied. Her nails were long purple talons that she pushed in slow circles against his scalp as she chatted with G, and Patty just closed his eyes and let himself sink into the sensation of her fingers, and the heat of the fire on his face.

When he opened them again finally, he looked up to see TK staring at him. 

Patty held his gaze. Always did, like the dumbest ever staring contest that he usually one, because soon TK would crack a smile, or laugh, or get distracted by conversation. One thing in a sea of distractions pulling him in different directions. 

Not this time, though.

This time, Patty could study the way the firelight turned his tanned skin almost bronze, how the shadows made his face seem half a mask. 

He was sure TK would look away first, but then Anna crashed down next to him, spilling half in his lap, and when he’d gotten her situated, TK was looking back at Morena. 

_ Fuck. Look at me. Look at me. _

Patty was so desperate, honestly, it was pathetic. He wrapped an arm around Anna,slid a thumb under the fabric at her shoulder, and let himself focus on stroking the soft skin there. 

Patty wasn’t a big talker. Hardly ever. Anna was chatty. Not overly so, but enough so that Patty could keep quiet and let himself fade into the background, which was where he liked being. 

Conversation swirled with the same intensity as the smoke, bits and pieces drifting into his mind, and then off again into the darkness. He kept his gaze on the fire, or on Anna, but didn’t look at TK again.

He went through this routine with himself, over and over again, sort of preparing for “the one.” 

Like, what if Morena was TK’s “one”? They certainly looked fucking good together. She was killer in bed if TK’s near constant bragging was any indication, and she was ridiculously hot. More importantly, she was the type of person everyone expected TK to end up with, who _ Patty _ expected him to end up with.

The last time he and TK had hooked up had been different.

Oh the motions were all the same. Fucking in the back seat, gross and desperate and so horny they could forget little things like rain and wind. But the way they’d come together felt different. Closer, hotter, like instead of just sex, it was their own little world, just the two of them, bodies grinding in unison.

And then later, when TK had dropped him off, Patty nearly lost his mind again and almost kissed TK in full view of his house and the neighbors and Old Mrs. Winkler who was walking her dog down the street. That was a mistake he couldn’t make, because he  _ knew _ that the day was growing closer where there would be no more furtive blowjobs on the boat, or fooling around on deserted roads. 

He had to pull himself back. He knew it was probably all in his head, that when TK had pressed his thumb to Patty’s lip and stared into his eyes as they’d both come, that it was just a careless gesture, that it didn’t actually  _ mean _ anything, but fuck, Patty had wanted it to so god damn badly it tied his brain up in knots. 

It’s why he leaned into Anna’s space and kissed her neck in full view of everyone. Why he whispered,  _ you wanna? _ into her ear, and then cocked his head towards the darkness behind them. 

Why he stood up, and helped her to her feet, and slipped her fingers through his as he tugged her away from the warmth of the fire.

He gave Sanny the finger silently as Sanny made a smart-ass remark about Patty finally getting some. Anna hauled Sanny towards her and bit his neck with a growl, and then cackled as he turned about seven different shades of red in their wake. 

The grass in the abandoned fields was about waist high, a mix of weeds and prairie grass. Over the years, people had worn down paths into the foliage, creating a little maze of hidden trails and alcoves perfect for hiding away for a while. 

There was never complete privacy, and always the slight chance that the cops would bust up the party, and he’d get stuck with his pants around his ankles, but he needed so badly to just  _ forget _ about everything for a while, and the best way he’d found to do that was sex. 

The spot they chose wasn’t exactly flat, though it was clear others had been there before them, which unfortunately meant so were abandoned condoms and beer cans. Patty wished he had a blanket or something he could lay out underneath them. Short shorts and a crop top didn’t exactly leave a lot of protection against the dirt. He stripped off his t-shirt, and dropped it on the ground so at least she had that little bit. Anna just laughed, and reached up to touch his face, bringing him down for a kiss. 

“You always surprise me, Nolan,” she murmured against his mouth, and let her fingers trail down his pecs, down his well defined abs, to his dick, still soft beneath his jeans. 

“You bring any of the good stuff?” she asked. He knew she didn’t mean drugs. He never fucked around with drugs, beyond weed, and as far as he knew, neither did she. When he produced the flask out of his back pocket, she grinned. Her thick fingers worked the cap, and as she tilted her head back to take a slug, the moonlight reflected soft off her throat. 

She handed it back, and he took two big swigs, wincing only slightly when it burned down his throat.

Good. This was good. 

He dropped the flask to the ground, and it made a soft clunk as she pulled him down to the ground. Sometimes, with Anna, it was hot and fast, chasing orgasms more than actually trying to enjoy the moment. Sometimes, it was slower, not meaningful exactly but more of a savory experience. He always, always let her set the pace. It’s what she preferred, even if they never actually had the conversation about it. 

  
  


Tonight, she wanted hot. She wrapped her legs around him, thick thighs entrapping his hips as he kissed down her neck, sucking a mark into her skin. She was already bucking her hips up against him, dragging denim on denim, and his hand spanned the side of her thigh as he hitched her leg up a little further, pushed down on her. Lightning sparked behind his eyes at the friction, and she moaned beneath him, chasing it as well. It wasn’t a slow seduction. He slid up to his knees, fished the condom out of his wallet, dropped it in the grass next to her.

There was enough moonlight to see decently, and it made the white of her crop top glow. She was already wiggling out of her shorts, her bare ass pressed against the lower part of his t-shirt on the ground, and it was definitely gonna get all cum-stained, but it was a warm enough night he could go without it and be fine. Or wear it and no one would notice. It’s not like every single person in the clearing didn’t know what they had disappeared to do, like plenty of other dudes would have illicit cum stains they all just didn’t acknowledge.

He didn’t take his pants all the way, just hitched his boxers and jeans down to right above his knees, put on the condom, and then sank back down, holding himself over her with one hand. Her mouth was on his again, and she tasted like the rum they’d both drank, and like strawberries a little bit. He reached between them to position himself, and sank into her in one quick thrust, and she gasped.

God, he wished he could stay right here forever, buried deep inside her, all hot and tight. He pressed his face into her neck and let himself just breathe for a second. For all that she liked to control the pace, she wasn’t demanding, or pushy, so she let him be for a second, running her fingers up and down the length of his spine. He tried not to think about how many mosquitos were making a meal of his flesh. He couldn’t feel any, couldn’t feel anything except her warm skin beneath him. 

She laughed and then reached down and grabbed a handful of his ass, urging him forward. He pulled out a little, pushed in, swallowed up the gasp that ripped out of her and continued to move. 

It was all about the pleasure tonight, however they could get it. 

He didn’t hear the couple as they approached, didn’t hear anything but the pounding of blood in his ears until Anna let out this little giggle.

“Oh hey Morena!”

Patty ducked his head to peer under one arm, and sure enough, TK and Morena were stumbling into their little clearing, no doubt seeking out exactly what Patty and Anna were. Patty froze, mid-thrust when he heard TK squeak out, “oh, uh… sorry.” 

He pressed his face into Anna’s clavicle, wished himself anywhere but there.

It wasn’t that TK had come across him fucking someone. That he didn’t really care about. Hazard of fucking in an open field. He cared that now it was TK’s voice that laced into his brain, digging its claws in like it always did. 

“It’s fine,” Morena grinned. “Don’t worry babe, this will be hot.” 

TK was gearing up to protest, but then let out a moan, the one that meant he had a hand on his dick, and Patty had to take a deep breath and let it go to keep himself in control.

It wasn’t supposed to go like this.

He was supposed to  _ forget _ about TK, not listen to him get fucked a few feet away. Maybe he and Anna could move. Like, by rights, they were here first, so they shouldn’t have to, but maybe…

He looked up at Anna, and she looked right back at him with that wicked smile that said she was  _ enjoying _ this, the getting caught, the being watched. 

So they weren’t going anywhere then. 

Onto plan B. Pretending TK wasn’t there.

Only, here’s the rub. Patty never figured out how to do that. TK was woven into every single piece of him, and try as he might to dislodge the asshole, he’d not yet managed. He closed his eyes, sank into Anna’s mouth. All he did was remember what TK’s tasted like. 

He fucked up into her, running a hand up her side, under the fabric of her crop top, and remembered him and TK in the backseat, naked and sweaty and panting against each other, when TK had whispered  _ your eyes are crazy blue _ like he’d finally figured out a long lost secret. 

It was like TK’s name was the rhythm of his heart, two syllables thumping over and over again. 

Off to his left, he heard TK moan again, heard Morena make a high pitched noise of pleasure. It was jarring. He hated it. He wanted more of it. 

“Fuck, Nolan,” Anna purred in his ear. He knew she was being a little louder, for the benefit of the others, playing it up, but he thrust into her hard, and her breath caught, and  _ that _ was real enough, so it he did it again, and again. 

Over and over, fisting a hand into her hair, the other gripping the grass around them as he snapped his hips. Off her tongue spilled a litany of  _ yes, yes, oh fuck _ and she clung to his shoulders again. He’d have welts tomorrow. He didn’t care. 

This was supposed to be an escape. 

He came seconds after she did, a low moan ripping out of his throat to join her gasps of pleasure. It always took his brain a second to readjust itself, for the swarm of bees in his ears to quiet, but as soon as they did, he scrambled up, grabbing his flask and his phone, and hastily buttoned up his pants.

Beside them, Morena was riding TK, her gorgeous dark hair a waterfall in the moonlight. She was painfully beautiful. He hardly noticed her.

TK looked stupid, like someone had just smacked him across the face. He was just laying there, letting Morena do all the work, hands on her hips, ass fully planted in the grass and fuck, Nolan wanted him so much. 

He had to get out of there.

“I’m gonna go grab a beer,” he murmured, forcing his gaze away from TK long enough to look at Anna. 

He’d never told her about them, he and TK, how they were best friends, but at times, so much fucking more. He thought she suspected, though. His gaze darted from TK to her, back to TK, then back to her again, and he watched as her face shifted from surprise to softness. 

She didn’t protest.

“Yeah babe, get me one. I’ll be right there.” 

He was definitely going to kiss her for that later. Now, though, he took off back towards the noise and lights from the fire, and let himself tune out Anna’s banter with Morena.

He couldn’t just  _ leave. _ He was Anna’s ride, and as fucked up and raw as he felt, he wasn’t going to just abandon her. He actually  _ liked _ her, even if it wasn’t in a romantic sort of way. 

He grabbed two beers from Sanny as he reemerged from the dark, glaring down his knowing looks. He’d left his shirt back there. He may as well have worn a giant sign that said “I FUCK”, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to care. He couldn’t get too drunk now, not if he was going to drive them home, but he downed one beer, and went immediately for a second. It wasn’t even good, but it was wet, and he wanted to forget. 

Anna came out a few minutes later, arm looped in Morena’s, TK trailing behind them. Patty didn’t look at him. He stood next to the keg, and the guys around it, unfocused and unsmiling, until Anna came up and took his hand again.

“Wanna get out of here?” she asked. He nodded, gave her a small grateful smile. He often wished he  _ were _ into her romantically, because she was really fucking great. 

They left without saying goodbye to anyone, walked back to his car in silence, hand in hand, the only noise between them her flipflops flapping against the dirt road. Crickets chirped, a cacophony, so much louder now that they were away from everyone. 

She waited until they were inside the car and he’d turned it on before she reached out and grabbed his hand, then kissed the back of it gently. It was unbearably soft, a softness he felt he didn’t deserve, and he almost flinched away from it.

“You’re really into him, huh?” she asked. There was no judgement in her voice. He’d expected anger maybe, or jealousy, or  _ something _ but she just looked across the console at him, her beautiful blue eyes alight with understanding. 

Patty hated emotions. Fucking hated them. Useless, stupid, uncomfortable things. He hated crying most of all. But when she rubbed her thumb across his and looked up at him, he cracked wide open. They weren’t pretty, the sobs that ripped out of him, they were unholy wailings; the sounds of shattered glass and wet earth and sandpaper.

He crumpled, his tall frame collapsing in on itself, and she immediately wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her. It was uncomfortable, their two bodies awkwardly spanning the center console, but she was warm, and she smelled so good, and so he let himself go, let himself press his face against her shoulder and cry. 

He drove her home. She pressed one lingering kiss against his mouth, and swiped her thumb over the red tracks where tears had burrowed.

“You’re gonna make it, babe,” she whispered, and he’d nodded at her, unsure if he believed it, but appreciating her words all the same.

He didn’t play any music on the way home, just kept the windows rolled down and listened to air whooshing past. Parked his car on the street. Too many cars in the driveway now that Aimee was driving. Said a cursory hello to his mom when he walked in but headed right upstairs as soon as he’d gotten that out of the way.

She knew he’d been crying. She always knew. Some weird mom sense. But she didn’t push, just handed him a glass of water as he went up with orders to “drink this.”

He downed the water in one go, and then pulled the blanket over his head and disappeared from the world. 

He heard the chimes of his phone first. That little chirp of a text message in rapid succession that meant TK was blowing up his phone in the way only TK did. Patty reached a hand out of the blanket cave and looked at the time on his phone. 2:25 am. Jesus fucking christ. It was far too late, or early, for TK to suddenly want to talk. Yeah, tonight was weird, and yeah, he’d basically bailed without telling TK, but whatever, TK had come to the bonfire with Morena. Patty didn’t owe him shit. 

He pressed the volume down button until it went into silent mode, and then dropped it to the floor, just to be contrary. TK could wait until morning like everyone else. Patty would be over this weird emotional sulk by then. 

It took two more minutes before he heard the knock on his bedroom window.

And like… he was on the second floor. The awning over the porch was right below his window, and some nights he and TK would crawl out there with Aimee and Maddie if his parents were out, but it was fucking difficult to get to from the ground floor without a ladder. So who the fuck was out there? 

He knew it was TK before he even pulled off his covers, but he was sort of hoping for a robber, maybe, or like a ghost. A friendly one who knocked. 

TK crouched on the roof, phone clutched in one hand, with the other cupped around his eyes so he could peer into Patty’s bedroom. Patty never locked his window, didn’t know he’d need to until this exact moment, so TK had it half way up by the time Patty was out of bed and padding over to him. 

“What the fuck dude?” Patty rumbled, sleep making his voice a low rasp. TK crouched to fit through the window, and half fell inside, onto the beanbag on the floor. He made a loud thump, and Patty winced. The last thing he needed was to explain to his parents why someone was crawling into his bedroom window at night, even if it was just TK. 

“You didn’t answer your phone,” TK hissed. “I panicked.”

“Yeah, cause it’s 2:30 in the morning. I was sleeping. Like a normal person.” 

He crossed to the nightstand and flipped on his bedside lamp. They both flinched away from the rush of warm light. 

TK looked very much the same as when Patty left him a few hours ago, except that he’d put on a soft grey Flyers sweatshirt. On instinct, Patty offered him a hand, and hauled him to his feet. They both stood for a second, actively listening to see if anyone else in the house had stirred. His bedroom was wedged on the side of the house next to the bathroom though, so he could usually get away with making at least a little noise at night and not disturbing anyone. 

“Did you want something?” The words came out bitchier than he’d intended, but also it was two thirty in the fucking morning, so. 

“Yeah dude, you split earlier.” TK said. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He’d been in Nolan’s room so many times for marathon Call of Duty sessions, but they’d never once fucked around in here. That was a pleasure reserved for liminal spaces - cars, the woods, public bathrooms, basically anywhere they could get a bit of privacy without actually using a bed. 

Because maybe a bed  _ meant something _ they’d never wanted to talk about. 

“Yeah Teeks, I’m fine.”

The problem with having a best friend who knew you so well? Was that they could absolutely tell when you were lying. TK stared at him, unblinking, until he let out a sigh and sat down on the bed.

He wasn’t going to do this now. How could he? He’d already spilled his heart out all over Anna earlier, and she was just an innocent bystander who happened to be nice enough to get in the way. 

“What do you want me to say, dude?” Patty asked. He was fucking tired, not just phsycially, but emotionally, and he didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want to lay himself open twice in one night, especially not in front of TK. TK saw everything in him, but Patty didn’t want him to see that. 

It wasn’t just the obvious. It wasn’t just  _ your girlfriend fucked you in front of me _ , which was weird, but given the course of their friendship, maybe not that weird. It was the way TK had stared at him over the fire, as if he’d been studying Patty like art. It was the way TK just climbed into Patty’s bedroom window at night without giving it a second thought to check on him. It was the way that even now, TK looked at him, intense and beautiful, with concern, but also with heat. Patty always sort of assumed TK didn’t dwell on their encounters, but maybe.

Maybe he did. 

Patty should just crawl back into bed and sleep. Throw TK out the window (possibly literally) and forget the whole night ever happened, and they could go back to TK fucking him when it was convenient, and Patty pretending that was just fine, like TK wasn’t his whole fucking world or whatever. 

“I don’t know,” TK sounded kind of hurt. “I just… you didn’t say goodbye Pats.”

“So your option was to climb through my window in the middle of the night?!” Patty’s voice rose to a decibel louder than it should have at 2:30 in the morning, and he had to pause in the middle and hiss out the rest. 

“Pats.”

See, the thing was, Patty knew how this would go, because it’s how it always went whenever TK got sad, or upset, or lonely. Patty moved heaven and earth to make sure he was all right again, even if he chirped him to high heaven while doing it. 

“I can’t…” he started, then faltered, staring down at his hands. 

Couldn’t what? 

TK pushed his foot out slow, bridging the gap distance between them until he poked Patty’s bare foot with one shoe. 

“Where’s Morena?” Patty switched gears as he swallowed the lump in his throat that he would  _ not _ allow to become more tears. Travis blinked.

“Uh, home?” 

He didn’t get it. Of  _ course _ he didn’t get it. 

“Why aren’t you with her right now, Teeks?” 

TK had taken every opportunity to point out that Morena had an apartment she shared with roommates, and didn’t have to live with her parents like the rest of them, so the fact that TK wasn’t asleep in her arms right now said something. Patty just wasn’t entirely sure what. 

The air felt so thick between them that even the breeze blowing in from outside seemed to collide against a brick wall. Patty wished he were brave enough to kiss him. Wished he were brave enough to kick him out. If TK didn’t have a girlfriend, maybe he’d do something, he’d risk his luck, but the fact remained that he did, and one he was “super fucking into”, (an exact quote.) 

TK pushed himself slowly to his feet. There were a million things Patty wanted to say to him in that moment, but none of them seemed right, or all of them seemed desperate, so he kept his mouth shut. TK took two steps forward until his knees bumped into Patty’s, and Patty had to look up at him.

“Invite me up to your room, Pats,” he whispered. He looked more serious, more intent that Patty had ever seen him, and Patty’s face twisted in confusion. What the hell was he talking about?

“Huh?” 

“Invite me inside, Patty. Invite me to come up to your room.” He was smiling now, just this little thing that tugged at the corners of his lips Patty bet it tasted like sugar. 

“Uh, come up to my room?” 

He was overwhelmed by TK’s nearness, and confused as shit with his current line of thinking, and he wanted so badly to slide his fingers against TK’s hips and tug him closer.

“Okay. What are we gonna tell your parents?” His smile grew a little more. 

Patty remained as confused as ever. The obvious answer,  _ it’s 2:30 am bud, we don’t have to tell them anything _ , was not what TK was looking for.

“Video games?” he guessed.

TK’s smile grew again.

“And she’d tell us not to stay up too late, and ask if she can make us popcorn.”

Patty did smirk a little at this because it was accurate as hell. 

TK reached out a hand and pressed his thumb against the side of Patty’s mouth, not hard, just a gentle pressure. Heat radiated out from the pad of it, and Patty’s lips parted. He couldn’t breathe. Perhap he would never remember what breathing was again.

“You invited me up. We’re in your room.” TK said these things like Patty should know exactly what he was talking about, but Patty was still stuck back on  _ he’s touching me _ . 

“And?” Patty asked. His words barely came out at all, air escaping his lungs. 

TK let his thumb swipe soft across Patty’s cheek, then pushed back his hair, tracing the delicate shell of his ear. Then he leaned down and kissed him. 

Patty actually  _ whimpered _ , this wrecked little sound that came out of him as TK brought both hands up to cup Patty’s face. This.  _ This. Thisthisthisthis. _

Except as much as Patty ached for him, as much as the feeling of TK’s fingers on his face told his brain _ home _ , he didn’t want to fuck over Morena, or himself, or even TK because as soon as TK left, he knew, everything would go back to how it always was.

“Teeks,” TK’s name came out of his throat as half prayer, half sob. “We can’t. We…”

Fuck, he wanted to kick himself.

“Morena. And I…”

Well, he may as well see this to the bitter end.

“I know you really like her, and I don’t want to be your second choice. Not anymore.” 

There. That was enough. It wasn’t the “I love you” that raced beneath his skin, but it was close enough to the truth that TK had to see, at least a little bit, what everything meant. 

It was strangely satisfying, finally giving that dull weight in his chest a physical form. 

TK still held his face, traced the sharp ridge of his cheeks with his thumbs, and smiled. 

“I broke up with Morena,” he said lightly.

Hope, the traitor, surged up in Patty’s chest, but fuck, he knew it wasn’t enough. He had to get this out now, while he still had the courage. Or the madness.

“TK, I…” 

Deep breaths, Patrick.

“I just sort of love you, ok? Like, a lot, and I get that you don’t love me, and that’s fine, whatever, you’ll always be my best friend, and it’ll be ok, but I can’t fuck around with you. Not anymore. I can’t just be the person you’re with until someone better comes along.” 

He forced himself to look up into TK’s eyes, those eyes whose every fleck he memorized like constellations. He was scared as hell at what he’d see there. Rejection? Disgust? Fear? 

“Things don’t have to change, though, right? Like we can still hang out all the time and mmmphh-” 

TK covered Patty’s mouth with his hand. 

“Patty,” he murmured. “Shut the fuck up.” 

And before Patty could get another word in edgewise, TK replaced his hand quickly with his mouth. 

Then TK is pushed him gently down onto the bed, hands still unrelenting on Patty’s face, legs bracketing his hips, and fuck, TK was  _ kissing him. _

That was it. That was the only thought Patty might ever have again. 

“Didn’t know I could have you Pats,” TK whispered as his mouth shifted to kiss down Patty’s neck. “ I’ve always wanted you, but I didn’t know you’d be my girl.” 

Patty snorted, and tried to pull back just a little to glare at TK, but TK kept his mouth firmly attached, scraped teeth over Patty’s pulse point and made him hiss. 

“Fuck you, bud,” Patty said, though it came out more like a groan. “If anything, you’re  _ my _ girl.” 

When Travis pulled back, he had a shit eating grin on his face that hit Patty hard in the chest.

“Naw, you’re prettier. That makes you the girl.” 

Patty just laughed, and pulled him down again into a kiss. 

_ One month later _

  
  


Patty knew where they were going as soon as TK turned his car away from the main road and into the woods.

They hadn’t been to their secret spot in a while. 

They’d hung out plenty. Every day practically, just like they always did, fishing and hiking and playing video games and just generally being lazy assholes. Only now Patty would reach over and run his fingers up TK’s thigh and touch his dick to distract him during Call of Duty to make him fuck up. Or they’d be out on the boat, and Patty would catch a really big fish, and TK would be so proud he would have to kiss Patty about it for like fifteen minutes. 

Now it was them who snuck off during bonfires to fuck in the tall grass, and came back looking all smug about it.

It wasn’t even like they couldn’t have back when they were just friends, but now Patty was  _ dating _ TK. They were boyfriends who held hands at parties, and wrote each other soft as fuck texts and then chirped each other about it later. They didn’t need to relegate it to the shitty backseat anymore. 

Except today, apparently. 

It was the same as every time. The windows were down, Patty’s feet were up on the dash, they were trapping way too many bugs in the back windshield. TK’s phone was still in the cupholder, though now it played a mix of both shitty country and excellent indie stuff on their shared playlist. 

Travis got quiet as they got closer to the little jut of a parking lot, which was uncharacteristic of him. Patty gave him a side-eyed glance, saw the way his fingers were a little tighter than usual on the steering wheel. A small voice in the back of his mind wondered if maybe TK was driving him all the way out there to break up with him, but no, even TK wouldn’t be that dumb. He’d have to drive him all the way back, and Patty would most definitely punch him in the dick if he tried to break up with him like that, and everyone knew it was no fun driving with a punched dick, so. 

The lot was empty when they got there. TK put the car in park, turn off the ignition, and dropped his keys in the cup holder, next to his phone, then got out of the car. The exact same way they’d done it a thousand times before, only this time, he kept walking. He wasn’t getting in the backseat. 

“Uh… bud?” Patty asked, his hand paused an inch from the back door handle. “Where are you going?”

Travis looked back at him with this nervous little smile that Patty thought was possibly the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. 

“Come here,” he waved a hand, and kept walking. He didn’t go far, just stopped in front of the Paddahook Trail sign and waited for Patty to catch up. 

Patty came up behind him, his hands automatically finding TK’s waist as he asked, “why the fuck are we looking at a sign?”

And then he froze. 

Carved into the wood under the ugly yellow lettering were the words  _ TK + Patty _ with a janky heart around it. It was small, and really not very well done at all, but it made Patty’s heart kick anyway. He pulled TK against his chest, wrapped his arms around him and just held on.

“It’s stupid,” TK mumbled. “I just thought…” 

His words trailed off, and Patty could feel the tension in his fingers as they gripped Patty’s forearms. 

“Like even when we weren’t, ya know,” because apparently he was allergic to the word  _ boyfriend _ , “this was always our place.” 

He took a deep breath, and Patty felt his chest expand.

“I came back and carved after that last time. In the car. With the rain. Just our initials, though, to claim this as our spot officially. I added the heart after we got together.” 

There were a few moments of silence dotted only with chirping birds and the wind through the trees, and then Nolan leaned his head down and kissed Travis’s shoulder, lacing their fingers together.

“I love you, Teeks.” His voice was way too fucking soft and gooey. He tilted his head just a little to kiss the juncture of his neck. “Really a lot.”

“I love you too, babe,” Travis replied. He stood in Patty’s arms for another minute, both of them staring at the outrageously romantic evidence that TK had violated government property. Then TK turned in his arms.

“Hey, you wanna fuck me in the back seat again?” TK asked hopefully, and Patty laughed.

He kissed him, once on the tip of the nose, and once on the mouth, lingering there for a moment, and then tugged TK towards the back seat.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> drop a kudos or a comment if you're feeling lovely! they make me grin every single time.


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